The World Would Say Pack Your Bags and Run…

 

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David Swanton has been in numerous programs/rehabs in an effort to clean up his life and the patterns that keep pulling him back into that destructive lifestyle.  He came to the Village of Hope in August of 2016, a cocaine addict wanting help, but left after 18 days.  Six weeks later he returned and has been at the Village ever since.  He should have been graduating soon but a situation arose a number of weeks ago where he crossed the line, broke the rules, and along with that broke trust.  The consequence of his actions was to be pushed back five months into his program, something that would cause most men to pack their bags and run but Dave felt he deserved it.  In reality God had already spoken the same discipline to him in his journal before he even received it, so it was no surprise to him.  “I was angry at what God was telling me but I took ownership of it even though it’s not something anyone would want to do or most men would do.  I needed to realize it’s not the process, it’s not the time, it’s am I willing to submit to God.  Once I looked past the discipline and restarting my program in the negative, I realized that  a lot of things I still need to work on are still inside of me, whether it’s anger, depression, or character traits the are negative and affect me and would pull me back down if I left.”  So does he ever wake up and think jeepers I’m here for another six months…how does he prevent himself from going down that road of self-pity?  “I try to focus on the reason I want to stick it out is because for once my relationship with God means something, it’s never meant anything.  I really don’t want to be that angry person I was or that person that was just so polluted in the heart, I want to be free, I want to be loving, I want to learn how to love people and pour into them.  I don’t want to return to who I was, I want to get rid of my heart condition.”  Dave may not see himself as some “superstar” when it comes to his recovery, he’s struggled lots and often times hasn’t given fully to his program but since his discipline and being pushed back his outlook is different.  “I realized a lot of things had to come out and this was a huge step in my freedom and having true integrity, it’s something I never had.”